spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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