My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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