I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
