OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
