Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
