Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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