Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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