Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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