a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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