Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
