I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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