glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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