Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
