do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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