Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
