8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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