Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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