I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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