You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
