Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
