3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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