i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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