either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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