just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
