Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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