I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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