Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
