I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
