Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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