the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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