no you cant smoke seaweed
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
