vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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