i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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