So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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