I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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