I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
