ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
