Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
