I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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