If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i believe in u and ur pee
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
