All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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