God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
