it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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