he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
