i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
