i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
