he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
