I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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