Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize