Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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