Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if only i could text you this smell
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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