I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
