Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
