god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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