I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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