just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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