Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
