Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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