So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
