Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
