no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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